In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
