I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
