I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
