im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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