Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sobbing to NWA
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
