Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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