Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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