I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
