Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
sex in a hospital.. check
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
