Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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