So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
did i walk over a car last night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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