Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

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(516): View more from New York

i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me

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(206): View more from Washington

My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold

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(541): View more from Oregon

I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard

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