I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
