guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
