is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hippo gnu deer
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
