But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
