If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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