i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
