try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
