the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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