come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
