Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
