We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize