i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize