Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
