how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
