Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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