He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize