just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
