If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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