I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
