she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
