Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
