hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There was a lot of him and a little penis
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
