Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
