I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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