ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
