What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
