Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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