I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
