If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
