And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
