Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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