Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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