Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
