he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize