so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
