Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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