Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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