tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
