So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You need Xanax blowdarts
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
