bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
