Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
