i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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