I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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