Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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