We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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