Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
