This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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