one might say we're banned from that church
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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