I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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